I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
