i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
