New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
