i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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