TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
