one two three fourrrrnication!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
