The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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