So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
