Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
