your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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