why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
