You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this boner is exhausting
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
