I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Soap is not a condiment
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
