Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What did we do last night that was yellow?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
