They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
