This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
