yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
