it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
