the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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