Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
