Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
