some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
