Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
