I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
