Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
