You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
