There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
