I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How external is "for external use only"?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
