I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
