You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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