He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
