first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wish i was in the wii world.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
