That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize