I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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