watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
