Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
