I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Who died my cat blue again?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
