No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have aggressive nipples.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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