dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
