she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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