Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
