It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
