Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
