Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
only you would photoshop your dick
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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