At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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