i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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