Small penises have feelings too.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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