Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
