how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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