It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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