I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
