You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
