I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
