Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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