she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
