ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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