I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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