yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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