Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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