And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
