just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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