At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
