I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
