just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
