Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I cockslap morals
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize