Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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